Mom's Supervision Lessons
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When I first became a boss, my primary role model for good supervision was my mother. Here's what I learned from being her son.
There is no misbehavior. There is only behavior. Mom spent a lot of time telling this to my teachers.
People do things for their own reasons. If they're not doing what you want them to do, they have a good reason.
Clear expectations are mandatory. When mom told you what she wanted, she was specific. She also asked you to explain it back to her.
Without clear expectations, others will try to figure out what you want. You may not like some of what they come up with.
Without follow-up, expectations are just hope. You have to go and see what's happening.
Without feedback, follow-up is just observation. If you want behavior to change, you have to provide some reasons.
Consequences are the result of behavior or performance. My mother refused to use the word "punishment."
She thought that punishment was something one person did to another. What she did was "deliver consequences."
If you deliver a positive consequence, like praise or recognition, because of a behavior you're more likely to get it again. Praise what you want people to try or continue.
If you promise negative consequences for a behavior, you better make sure you deliver. Negative consequences are best delivered consistently.
Boss's Bottom Line
Good supervision is really pretty simple. It's a lot like being a parent. Just remember that it's something you need to work at every day.
Wally's Working Supervisor's Support Kit is a collection of information and tools to help working supervisors do a better job. It's based on what Wally's learned in over twenty years of supervisory skills training. Click here to check it out.
Categories: supervision,Management,Leadership
Tags: Supervision Management Leadership
Wally:
Your mom is brilliant. But you already knew that.
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Thanks, Ann. I'm laughing because "brilliant" is that last word she would ever have used to describe herself. But she was spectacular at was getting to the core of an issue. The only other person in my life who's in her league there is my father-in-law.
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Wally this is great. What a great way to state a valuable lesson. Thanks. I think I will direct people your way today to read this great post.
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Thanks for the kind words, Michael, and thanks for the pointers, too.
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Don't forget pops too!, for many of us fortunate enough to share a household with both parents. While Mom may have been the Commander-In-Chief, Dad typically took on the role of military force, invasion, and leadership.
Moms are the best. The best lunches I ever had were in 1st and 2nd grade with my buddies. We would trade up, show off our lunch boxes, and talk about the simpler things in life...recess and cartoons.
Good post and thank you for probing some memories!
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Thanks for coming by Scott. I didn't mean to leave the impression that these were specifically "mom" lessons. The fact that they're connected to my mom is a matter of my personal experience.
The fact is that in my house, mom was the one who understood "supervision" the best. She paid attention to details of performance, communicated a lot with my sister and me, and held us accountable for our actions.
When I started working, I found myself going back to the way my mom dealt with us as the model for how to deal with people who worked for me. I'm still working at coming up to her standard.
I learned other things from my father. But mom was my model for supervision work and she was the model for this post.
I'm glad I could trigger some other memories for you, too. I triggered a few for myself while writing this.
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These are great lessons with a wide application and huge staying power particularly when they are delivered by your Mom
Another good post, Wally. Thank you.
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Thanks for stopping by and for those kind words. Gwyn.
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Wally, while this is a great post for your leadership blog, I think it ought to be out on a parenting blog! It definitely works both ways, but I think even the best of parents could learn from your mother! Wow!
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Thanks for those kind words, Lynn. You're right that mom was an exceptional parent. In fact, the older I get the more I realize just how exceptional.
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Wally:
You say your mom would have never used the word "brilliant" to describe herself. That's probably because she figured most people have and use common sense, and she might not recognize it for the rarity it actually is. Again, great post!
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Thanks for a very insightful comment, Ann. You're so right. Mom expected others to have the common sense that she did. She was always just a bit puzzled when she saw people doing something that was so obviously going to generate consequences that wouldn't like.
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I met with a friend earlier this week. She is a bit fed up. She is having trouble finding contracts at the moment. She aspires to work in a specific field but can tell me a million and one reasons why other people are better than her in doing that. although a talented lady her biggest success by far in life has bringing up her son on her own. She is a wonderful mum and role model for him. I have sent her a link to this post as the stimulus to make that her starting point. Thank you Wally.
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Thanks for those kind and very powerful words. My mother was an amazing person. She managed a career while also being the wife to my Pastor father and dealing with the moves that went with the career. She was an excellent writer. She always found ways to make good of situations, even when she was attacked by cancer. But she always counted raising my sister and me as among the most challenging, educational, and rewarding parts of her life.
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I would add, never try to resolve an employee dispute without all parties present.
Mom never did with my siblings and it is really the only to fairly get involved in a dispute.
A main benefit, most complaints go away after you say go get the other person and we'll resolve this.
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Great addition, Marc. My mom used to do that as well, but you reminded me how powerful it can be.
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