Don't just tell me. Show me.
 Subscribe to the Three Star Leadership Blog |
| The Working Supervisor's Support Kit is a collection of information and tools to help working supervisors do a better job. It's based on what Wally's learned in over twenty years of supervisory skills training. |
| Follow me on Twitter |
| For weekly tips and resources pointers, check Wally's Three Star Leadership Letter |
| Find out more about having Wally speak to your company or convention. |
| Find out more about Wally's coaching services. |
 |
There were several people working for me in the office back at the beginning of my career. When I would praise them, they said "thank you." Marilyn said something else as well.
She said, "Don't just tell me, show me."
I thought she meant, "Talk is cheap. Where's the money?" That's not what she meant and I'd have been a better boss sooner if I'd caught on.
Praise is powerful stuff, but it should only be part of the package. You need to have more rewards than just words.
You can use financial incentives. But if that's all you use with team members, you risk moving out of the realm of social covenants and into the realm of economic contracts. In the long run, that's often more expensive than some things that cost less dollars.
Learn to praise people with what you do. Here are three ways.
Don't just tell me, show me by letting me do my work. If you really think I'm doing a good job, don't hover over me while I'm at it.
Don't just tell me, show me with trust. If you really think I'm doing a good job, let me talk to important customers or make some decisions that you used to make.
Don't just tell me, show me by helping me grow. Let me try things that I may not get exactly right the first time. Coach me, don't catch me.
Those are just three ways to praise team members with more than words. What other ones have worked for you?
Boss's Bottom Line
What you do matters. It matters because you set the example. And it matters because what you do demonstrates what's important to you. Don't just tell your team members. Show them, too.
Wally's Working Supervisor's Support Kit is a collection of information and tools to help working supervisors do a better job. It's based on what Wally's learned in over twenty years of supervisory skills training. Click here to check it out.
Categories: supervision,Management,Leadership
Tags: Supervision Management Leadership
Giving your employees space to make decisions and then standing with them in support of those decisions (even if you would have done it a tad bit different) is a huge boost. Not only does it make them feel as important as they are, but it improves their ability to act as well.
Reply to this
Thanks for adding that, Fred. I like your phrase, "standing with them."
And, you're right, this is a win-win situation. If you help people grow, they require less close attention and are more productive. Everybody, including the team and company come out ahead.
Reply to this
You've hit on something here, Wally. We often think that people want "tangible" proof of our words and we think of that as money or things. Instead, the value of an intangible thing like trust has far more meaning to those who truly want to grow and contribute more.
As leaders, the hardest thing is letting go and letting our people do things in our stead. It is the only path to their success, and our willingness to let them grow and fly is a true demonstration of how much we think of them.
Reply to this
Thanks for those thoughtful comments, Chuck. Over the years I've come to think that doing the things that grow and demonstrate trust are the most important things a boss can do. It took an awfully long time to understand that trust was also a reward and a very potent form of praise.
Reply to this
The problem with these shows of gratitude is that they can happen in the absence of gratitude. Do them, but don't just show, tell.
Or, to put it differently, show and tell. Of course, telling them, might be a shock! So shock them!
Reply to this
I liked this post because it surprised me. I didn't think "show me" would relate to money, but I didn't expect the direction you took with it. Those are excellent ways of showing you appreciate an employee's work ethic and on-the-job achievements. It should be a natural progression to give a good employee more freedom in his or her job, but for those who've made the mistake of not doing so, this blog post should be an eye-opener!
Reply to this
Thanks for the kind words, Lynn. I think the concept of steadily working to increase team members' competence and then rewarding the increase with more discretion is one that many managers forget in the heat of work. That's true even though it makes things easier for everyone.
Reply to this
I really like your article. I came up with another leadership skill "Don't just tell me - ask me!". You can find a little article here http://www.solution-scope.com. Does this somehow fit?
Reply to this
I don't know if it "fits" or not, but it's a link to other resources. If my readers find things there that help them, great! Thanks.
Reply to this
Too many managers don't take these ideas to heart. Taking positive steps that help employees perform benefits everyone. Employees appreciate the chance to improve and the organization wins. Often helping employees push through organizational resistance is a big help.
Reply to this
Thanks, John. I'm puzzled about that. On the one hand, we talk about how people are our most important assets. But we don't do the day-to-day work necessary to help them grow and develop.
Reply to this