Have a Thoughtful Memorial Day
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"Have a happy Memorial Day!"
Memorial Day is the day we remember the sacrifice of those who gave their lives in war. Is "happy" the right term?
Don't get me wrong. I don’t' want to shut down the backyard grills and create a day of mourning. None of the people I remember most intensely on Memorial Day would want that.
They'd want to be at the parties. They'd want to be with their loved ones. But that can't happen
Instead of a "Happy Memorial Day," I wish you a "Thoughtful Memorial Day." In the midst of the good times, take a few moments to think and remember.
Think about those who are gone, the ones we call "absent friends." Remember good things about them. Remember laughter or a smile or a joyful incident.
Think about those who weren't killed but still gave their lives for their country. Think about those who have given up limbs and organs and relationships because they went to serve.
Think about those who loved them. Think about the families of the dead and the families of those who carry the war in their bodies every day.
Think about being thankful. One thing I'm thankful for is that men and women coming home today won't face the derision and hatred many of us faced coming home during the Viet Nam era.
Think about the reality of it all. The price of freedom is not just paid in blood. It is paid in limbs and minds and relationships too.
Years ago, I learned this from an older, wiser vet. To understand it you need to know that the point is the most forward and most exposed position in a combat patrol. The point is responsible for guiding and warning the patrol and usually the first to take fire.
Rule 1: Young men die in war.
Rule 2: There are no exceptions to Rule 1
Rule 3: Somebody has to walk the point.
Sometime during the day, offer what I learned to call "The Warrior's Toast." It is the toast to "absent friends."
Please, raise your glass, thoughtfully and thankfully, with me.
Wally's Working Supervisor's Support Kit is a collection of information and tools to help working supervisors do a better job. It's based on what Wally's learned in over twenty years of supervisory skills training. Click here to check it out.
In Canada, we hold Remembrance Day on November 11th each year to honour our military and the sacrifices they have made so that the rest of us would have the opportunity to live our lives in comfort and freedom. It is also declared "a holiday" here. But as you say, it is not a day in which the word "happy" fits too well.
On Remembrance Day, I always feel a little sad for the loss of so many lives (including my mother's first husband who was killed in WWII). I also feel gratitude for my freedom and the way of life I am so lucky to be able to lead.
So even though we don't acknowledge Memorial Day in Canada, I will be raising my glass to you and to all the other brave people who continue to give so the rest of us might live.
Thank You.
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Thank you, Gwyn. November 11 is our "Veteran's Day," formerly "Armistice Day." Like your Remembrance Day it is tied to the day the treaty was signed ending WW I in most of Europe.
Memorial Day started as "Decoration Day," a day set aside to decorate the graves of those who died in our Civil War. Joan Koerber-Walker was kind enough to send me a pointer to the original order. It's quite moving.
Thank you for being thoughtful this Memorial Day, remembering and honoring.
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Nicely put.
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Thanks, Fred.
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We have our rememberance day in November each year. At time for reflection.
But last week soldiers were returning from Afghanistan to Arbroath - a town in the north of Scotland where they are based - and hundreds of local people turned out to welcome them home. Clearly it was a joyful time for the young men's family and friends but they lost comrades and the turnout by the townsfolk added an element of respect and thoughtfulness.
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Thank you for sharing that. You capture the mix of joy and sorrow that marks the return of warriors.
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Well said, Wally. I have just been sitting here being thoughtful. My husband is on a ride with his veterans motorcycle club to the state Viet Nam memorial this morning. I stayed home, but my thoughts are with my son, currently serving on his 3rd 1-yr tour in Iraq. He has said that this tour has been quiet so far (been there since Janaury), but last time he was there, 2005-2006, he lost three members of his squad in to one IED, buried under 4 ft of concrete. One of them was a young man that he counted as his best friend. I had had the honor of meeting him the weekend before they deployed.
My father in law is gone now, but was a veteran of the Korean Conflict. He lived for years with the loss of almost his entire unit in one day. He had been med-evaced that morning after taking mortar fire and those who weren't were wiped out by the end of the day.
Thank you for mentioning that it isn't only those who are killed who give their lives for their country..
I, too, am thankful that, in general, those returning home from this war do not face the derision. There have been some ugly receptions on occassion, though. One a coupld of years ago at the Port of Olympia, here in Washington State stands out. But in general, it is good to know that even those who don't support the war have mostly tried to support our troops.
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Thank you for that powerful comment. I needed to sit back a moment before responding.
There will always be people who use the right of free expression that we fought for to oppose the vary conflicts that perpetuate it. Some of those people go far beyond the bounds of propriety, civility or even common sense.
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Thanks, Wally, for the important reminder about this special day. I hope you will come over and take a look at my most recent post -- also about Memorial Day. http://mountainstate.typepad.com/leadership/
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Thanks for coming by and for sharing your comments and pointer.
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Well said Wally. I attended a memorial service with my daughter's Girl Scout troop today. We often take for granted those that sacrificed their lives. Thoughtful Memorial Day to you as well.
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Sometimes telling our kids is the way that we remember. Thanks for sharing that.
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This is very poignant to me and I am grateful you point out it is also a day to honor those who did come home but still had battles to face. Anyone who has been in these situations is a changed person - in ways the rest of us can never understand. We are getting better but as a society we have not always done well in welcoming our vets home. We haven't always helped them with the battles we could. May we never lose sight of the "limbs and minds and relationships" paid for our freedom.
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Thank you, Wanda
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