Accidental Leaders
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It was my first Christmas as a boss. I'd been promoted and transferred in the fall. I was still getting comfortable in my new role.
My boss, Ed, knew that. In fact it was why he was on the phone.
"How long will you stay at the Christmas party?" he asked.
I told him that I'd probably stay until things wrapped up. When I get to a party, I like to stay.
"Don't do that." Ed said. "Leave early. It makes it easier for everyone."
As he explained why, my mind roamed over the commanding officers I had in the Marines. They were, and remain, my best role models for leadership.
And they all did what Ed was recommending. They all were there at the beginning, said some nice things to everyone, and left.
Ed was helping me make the transition to a boss who is conscious of the boss's role and impact. He helped me avoid being what I call an "Accidental Leader."
An Accidental Leader is someone who has a boss's job, but doesn't understand the impact of his or her behavior. The result is that Accidental Leaders do things that are taken as example or preference by their team members. Then they're surprised, because it wasn't what they intended.
Boss's Bottom Line
When you're the boss everything you say and do is watched and interpreted by your team. You have no choice about this. It's human nature.
Choose your words and your actions carefully. Watch for the impact they have. Change your behavior if you need to.
Wally's Working Supervisor's Support Kit is a collection of information and tools to help working supervisors do a better job. It's based on what Wally's learned in over twenty years of supervisory skills training. Click here to check it out.
Categories: Supervision, Boss, Management, Leadership
Tags: Supervision Boss Management Leadership
You boss was very wise. If you want your employees to have a life outside of work - and you do - then you have to have one and you have to live that life with complete awareness of your role as a leader. BTW, I ordered the book you recommended on Marine Corp. leadership. Can't wait to have a look at it. Thanks! Bret
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Thanks for the comment, Bret. When Shelley Lazarus was still CEO at Ogilvy and Mather, she always time off for family things because she knew that gave permission to others, especially women, to do the same.
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Great illustration, as usual Wally. I especially like: "Change your behavior if you need to." Self-evaluation and adaptability are a big part of leadership I believe. It's also very valuable to have a mentor like you had to help make the transition smoother.
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Thanks for the kind words, Maria. I know I've been blessed with some wonderful mentors, role models and friends. I hope I've been able to help others, too. It should be part of the natural cycle of things.
Getting feedback and adjusting behavior is the key way that leaders do better. Thanks for the reminder.
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It's one way of looking at it. I disagree.
Military leadership is based on a different dynamic than the business environment because there are different purposes. One is to conduct war and the other is to find the best means of making the biggest profit.
The bosses I had who stayed until the end of the Christmas party, didn't consume any alcohol and took the time to engage with everyone and their spouses; they garnered big points with all employees.
Everyone felt the boss considered them important enough to get to know a little better and, for the boss, it was a great way to "see another side" of people.
I have followed suit because I knew how it made me feel - it's an opportunity for leadership in any case by not drinking or having no more than one glass of wine (discipline; don't drink and drive), taking the time for people (politeness - acting as a good host) and showing genuine interest in them (people are important).
I think it's critical for a boss be a good host and take every opportunity to connect.
People felt at ease, respected, and connected. They left when they wanted and so did I. The important thing for the evening - connection.
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Those are good points. I think the staying depends, in some part, on the boss being the "host" of the event. There are bosses who do that well. Others don't.
As with everything like this, you need to do what works for you and fits your situation and strengths. Whatever you do, if you're a boss, you'll be observed.
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