The Natural Laws of Parties for Leaders
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It's holiday party time. And, if you are a boss, you need to pay attention to the natural laws of parties and leadership.
Natural Law 1: The party changes when you arrive. It changes again when you leave. What you see is not the real party. It's "the party when you're there."
Natural Law 2: You're still the boss. Do not suffer from the delusion that you're just one of the team. You're not. Everything you say or do will influence the people who work for you, just like every other day.
Natural Law 3: The people at the party would rather hang out with their friends and relax a bit than listen to speeches from you or anyone else. Let the party be their party. If you must speak, consider a two minute time limit. Thank people for their contributions this year, wish them a good time, and shut up.
Natural Law 4: That odds are high that at least one person who works for you will do something really stupid during the party. The odds go up with every alcoholic drink. Consider this a good reason to leave early.
Natural Law 5: You are not immune from Natural Law 4. An even better reason to leave early.
Wally's Working Supervisor's Support Kit is a collection of information and tools to help working supervisors do a better job. It's based on what Wally's learned in over twenty years of supervisory skills training. Click here to check it out.
Spot on Wally.
For any bosses who are considering breaking any of these laws, watch a couple of episodes of The Office (I prefer the British version).
Basically, you should do the opposite of anything David Brent or Michael Scott would do.
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Good advice, Aaron. Thanks. I prefer the BBC version, too.
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Hey Wally,
I laughed at every natural law you wrote. I can think of something interesting that has happened that company parties that pertains to each law. It would be great if you posted some personal experiences to go along with the post.
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Thanks, George. I think I'll leave the historical incidents out of this one.
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Hi Wally,
I love reading your material, especially for the reality checks you keep sending our way. This reality check came at a great time as my company party is right around the corner. Sometimes I have forgotten that I am not just one of the team, especially since my crew are all so close in age and life experince. Thanks for keeping me honest with myself....and off of the dance floor in the late hours of the party.
-Nicole
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Thanks for those kind words, Nicole. Oddly, I think handling parties well is harder if you're close in age to your team members and if you've got a good working relationship with them.
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Good, practical advice.
And all of it is true.
I especially agree with "everything you say or do will influence the people who work for you." How easy it is to forget that everyone is watching.
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Thanks, Bradley. It's particularly hard to remember with you're outside the normal context of work with your team. And alcohol doesn't make things easier for you.
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Words of wisdom that every leader should understand. Thanks for sharing.
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Thanks for kind words. And thanks for the wisdom you dispense across the digital mahogany at your blog, HR Bartender.
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superb. and so very true. f
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Thanks for those kind words, Fran.
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It's easy to forget "Natural Laws" - especially when liquor is involved.
Thanks for these gems, they're being forwarded to those in need.
Keep up the greatness...
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Thanks, Rodney. It's good to know the "Laws" will find their way to a place where they can help.
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Am I the only one who can't stand holiday office parties? Forced conversations and small talk, watching peers and bosses behave in odd and uncomfortable ways. Whenever I can find a reasonable excuse not to attend, I give these things a miss and am happier for it. The exception was my first job where we were small enough -- and our personalities were similar enough in nature -- to interact like family (I mean that in the best possible way, not in the "family = dysfunction" way).
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I'm sure you're not alone in that sentiment, Rick. Since I posted this I've had a conversation with a friend who's grown a couple of start-ups to profitability. His experience sounds similar to your experience. In the beginning, when the group was small and cohesive, office parties were more like other parties. But as the company grew, the character changed and, for him, turned into a event where he made what he calls his "state visit," which lasted about fifteen minutes including a short thank-you speech.
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Great post... so sad that instead of getting better with time, the problem just amplifies. (It used to be only Xmas; now it's Xmas & Halloween... next up...?)
Gotta remember: leadership + alcohol + cell phone cameras don't mix!
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Thanks, Jason. You added a factor that I hadn't even really thought about – the cell phone camera. One more reason to leave early!
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