The Attitude Trap
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"What can I do about someone with a bad attitude?"
I don't think I've ever had a supervisory skills class where someone didn't ask that question. The answer is that you can't do anything. At least not directly.
Here's the deal. The only things you can address directly are behavior and performance. They're observable or measureable or both.
You can't observe attitude. You can't measure it. That doesn't make it less real, it just means you won't get good results if you attack it directly. Addressing attitude directly is a trap.
Think about it. If you tell a team member that they've got a bad attitude, you won't get change. You'll get an argument, denial, or sullen withdrawal. That's not good.
So, when you judge that a team member has a "bad attitude" ask yourself this question. "What does he or she do that makes me think they have a bad attitude?"
The answer to that question might be behavior. Perhaps that team member comes late to meetings. You can address that behavior.
The answer to that question might be performance. Perhaps that team member is giving you reports that are unsatisfactory. You can address that performance.
That's good, but it's not enough. Most bosses put all their attention on "bad attitude." What about good attitude?
Define the observable or measureable things by asking the same question. "What does he or she do that makes me think they have a good attitude?"
The answer to that question might be behavior or performance. It's also something that deserves some positive feedback. Recognize it, praise it, thank your team member.
Boss's Bottom Line
Working on a "bad attitude" directly is a trap. It gets you argument, denial, or withdrawal. So identify the behavior or performance behind the attitude and work on that.
Don't forget the people with a good attitude. Identify the behavior or performance behind it and make sure you're giving some positive feedback.
Wally's Working Supervisor's Support Kit is a collection of information and tools to help working supervisors do a better job. It's based on what Wally's learned in over twenty years of supervisory skills training. Click here to check it out.
Good suggestions Wally. The other thing to consider is whether the attitude is really a bad or a good one. This is subjective and asking yourself why you think it is so is a good way to analyze it. Providing feedback about behavior or performance helps take the subjectiveness out of it a little bit and helps you deal with facts only. It's difficult to debate facts but anyone can debate an impression. Thanks for the article.
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Those are good points, Jen. You should definitely figure out if what you think is "bad" is really so, or just preference. With good things, I think that it's easy to mistake liking the person for "good behavior."
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What a great post!
A few years ago I had a young horse with what I perceived to be a "bad attitude" I spent several months trying unsuccessfully to fix the attitude until a great horse trainer told me that I couldn't fix what I couldn't see. I worked instead on gradually changing his specific undesirable behaviours and reinforcing his strengths. Wow! immediate success. And yes, I can tell you that the same principle has also worked with some of my more difficult employees.
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Thanks for sharing that, Laura. I'd pull out that you can't fix what you can't see. Or, for that matter, what you can't describe.
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Great advice Wally. The generic term "bad attitude " needs to be broken down into specifics and communicated constructively and as you say related to behaviour and an outcome.
It is the responsibility of the supervisor to take responsibility for that. Just as an employee has to ask "what is it about my attitude that displeases -what precisely am I doing that causes you to say that"
Good reminder!
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That's a good way of putting it, Dorothy, "the generic term 'bad attitude' needs to be broken down into specifics. Thanks.
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Hey Wally,
These people with "bad attitudes", whatever the reason might be, are easy to spot as an outsider and they might be oblivious. I wonder if I ever have a bad attitude and have a hard time recognizing it. Is there a good way to notice when something isn’t working around you before someone else does?
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Thanks, Matt. I think your comment points out the importance of having "truth tellers" in your life. A bad attitude isn't something that develops quickly. We all have bad days, even bad weeks. But bad attitudes take time to fester. They also seem to be general. When we say a person has a bad attitude, we aren't describing how he or she acts about one kind of task or situation. It's everything.
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I never thought of approaching the situation like this. Thanks for the tip Wally.
One thing I wanted to add is that attitudes can be changed relatively quick and I agree that they are a result of behavior and performance. Attitudes are different than personalities, which are more deeply rooted in an individual and can take years to change. The two shouldn't be confused when trying to help someone improve.
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Thanks, Richard. I agree. In my experience what we call "personality" rarely changes after it sets in early adulthood. But "attitude" can change quickly. Of course, that's a double-edged sword, since it can go bad as fast as it can improve.
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Very true Wally! So could one solution be to correct the underlying issue causing the "bad attitude?" Isn't that our job as leaders/managers? Fixing the things wrong in the system to bring around the attitude and performance we desire?
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I think correcting the underlying issue is the right thing to do, if it's our issue to correct. Often, it's not.
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Good good point Wally, what does the term "bad attitude" mean?It could have many different means and reasons for having one. I do think people need to look more in depth at what they feel is a bad attitude and why they feel that person has an attitude. By focusing on the behavior you can help determine what steps you can take to change the attitude.
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Thanks, Phillip. That's a good summary.
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I wonder how much one can correlate an attitude shift to a specific event or series of events. I can think of examples where a hard-working, enthusiastic co-worker, employee, or even supervisor (or even me) seemed to develop a bad attitude. There are stories behind the change -- something like, "I went over and above, but it didn't get acknowledged, so I'm not going to do that again."
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That's a good question, Dulce. I think attitudes change slowly, rarely in response to a single incident. Sometimes there's a trigger incident, but usually trouble has been brewing for sometime before that. That's my observation. I don't have any science to support it, but perhaps another reader can help.
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Very well put. This notion that attitudes drives behavior and it is the behavior that the boss must address is key. Because attitudes are often circumstantial and subject to interpretation, I agree that bosses need to avoid disciplining based on attitudes, or be willing to spend great deals of time in HR. Additionally, by managing attitudes the boss has done little to change the behavior that is reinforcing the negative attitude in the first place and has gotten nowhere. Change the behavior and the employees should also change in turn. Good insights here- thank you.
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Thanks for the kind words.
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Thanks Wally, I agree with this, and I think it's a good point that "good attitude" is often unrewarded.
As far as a negative attitude goes, I frequently see it as a personality attribute; certain employees exhibit negative attitude and behavior regardless of their current tasking or environment. Most people, on the other hand (and as you touched on), might only have a negative attitude for a short time because of personal issues etc. In my workplace, there are certain folks who are seemingly always gruff or rude and consequently difficult to work with. However, it hardly ever spills into something that HR or even a supervisor would care about - it's just a persistent inconvenience that makes working in a team with these people rather difficult. I'm skeptical that these people can actually be changed at this point, as you mentioned. Do you have any experience with that type of situation? What is the best way to handle "bad" personalities?
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Wow, Scott. There's a lot in that comment, so let me attempt to unpack it.
I agree with Richard Van, above, that personality is basically unchanging and that attitude can and does change. Then the question becomes whether the "attitude" we're discussing makes a difference in the workplace.
I read your description of someone whose attitude makes working with the difficult and unpleasant. If that's right, I want the supervisor to take some action. If it affects the team and/or team members negatively, then it's something the supervisor should address.
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It seems like when a boss tells an employee they have a "bad attitude" nothing good ever comes out of it. The employee either gets angry or completely withdrawals. The employee can feel like they were personally attacked. Behavior is hard fact, something that can be easily measured, so it makes much more sense to address it rather than the attitude. And a "bad attitude" usually comes from a dis-satisfied worker.
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Good point, my friend. Once you say to someone, "You've got a bad attitude," there aren't many good places left to go.
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Wally,
Nice post.
I think we should study the reason of that somebody else give you either bad or good attitudes. In addition, the conditions and events are also not ignorable when you analyze their attitudes.
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Thanks for adding to the conversation, Patrick.
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So simple...so true. Thanks. Most of us have worn ourselves out futilely trying to fix a bad attitude. By the way, the hardest bad attitudes to deal with are our own. That is why all leaders desperately needs someone who will tell them truth.
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That's sure true, Dick. One of the most important things in business and in life is having people around who will tell us the truth.
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So true. And crying 'bad attitude' is just as much a trap for the employee because it's so easy to say and so hard to disprove. Focusing on behavior and performance are neutral and give the employee a chance to make good.
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You've hit another important point. Discussing behavior and performance give a person specifics about what and how to improve.
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The cynical approach to responding to bad attitudes is to document bad behavior. That way you will have all your ducks in order when it comes to termination or disciplinary proceedings. However, such actions on your part may only make the situation worse. Only the employee can change their attitude and behavior. The only thing a supervisor can do in a positive and proactive way to influence attitudes and behavior is to lead by example. "By Example" was the slogan of an NCO Academy I attended when I was in the Army. Employees (soldiers) watch everything that their leaders do, and they will copy it. Earn the respect of your co-workers by playing by the rules and they will perform even if they don't like you on a personal basis. Wally is right about "the trap". Don't overestimate your power. You lose power when you use it, and you never know...maybe there is a good reason for a bad attitude.
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I read an essay based upon leadership exercises for the military. The leader observed that the group in charge became more controlling and abusive toward the troops. The "sergeants" were loyal and followed the control group. The "officers" sat up and took notice and tried to rectify the situation though they were viewed by the controlling group as rebels, uncooperative, sullen, or withdrawn - bad attitudes, though trying to be honest about their discomfort in the situation. At times I am amazed that I am the same person in most situations. Though depending on other personalities or my comfort or discomfort level in the situation I can be viewed as a team player, or a bad attitude and "the problem". Actions that helped the most were a workshop on self-compassion that included self-care tips or a nudge (from someone I felt some friction with) though she said, "If you want things to change, only you can make them change" so I went back to school! When I had a boss who made a paper trail about me, I learned nothing except how much I loathed her.
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Thanks for adding to the conversation.
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I agree with the power of example, Thomas, but I don't think it's the only tool you have. I've seen many bosses take the "all I can do is lead by example" approach and most of the time it's a cop-out, an excuse for not taking action.
Identifying the behavior or performance is necessary so you can address it. But "addressing it" does not mean documentation, at least not in the beginning. You need to confront it, as I noted in "A Secret No One Tells New Managers." If there's not change, you may move to documentation, but that action is further down the road.
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Brilliant post, Wally, and couldn't agree more. It's only the underlying behaviors and actions that a manager can address, reprimand, recognize, or reward.
But the individual can certainly choose his/her attitude. Of course, frequency of reprimands or recognition can influence that attitude!
Here's my latest favorite video of an employee choosing a positive attitude (a restroom attendant, no less): http://globoforce.blogspot.com/2010/10/whats-your-attitude-at-work.html
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Excellent point, Derek. The boss can only deal with what's observable: behavior and performance. But the individual, each of us, has an option about how we choose to approach and react to the world. Thanks.
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Great point, Wally. I think a common mistake for a boss is to let an employee's bad attitude overshadow their good attitude. It is important to recognize and acknowledge good attitude. When an employee's mistakes are pointed out yet their accomplishments are ignored, it causes frustration. Employees need to feel like an integral part of the organization and it's up to the leaders to fulfill this need.
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Good point. I think the other side to that is that when a team member's poor performance or bad behavior are ignored it results in delusion.
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I love your advice about focusing on behaviors. Ultimately, that's what people notice when they decide someone had a bad attitude. However, attitudes are measurable, it's just not always easy to do. Psychologists measure attitudes through survey instruments assessing people's positivity to an attitude object. for example, job satisfaction is a commonly measured attitude, though it is seldom construed as such (nor is it usually measured particularly well).
Another thing we commonly forget about attitudes is that they are composed of not just behaviors, but emotions and thoughts about an attitude object. The takeaway here is that we have two avenues towards "correcting" a "bad" attitude. Not only can we change the behaviors associated with said attitude, but we can also address the thoughts associated with them. When this is done properly, we can effect a change in the emotional content of the attitude, resulting in real, positive attitude change.
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Thanks for sharing that George. Everything you say is true, BUT …
The but is that sophisticated surveys and deep psychological understand of emotions simply don't help the working manager. He or she has a mission to accomplish through the team and team members to care for. Behavior and performance issues need to be resolved and the boss has to do that in a dynamic and fast-moving environment.
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I was part of an executive staff that had one member who was always 5-15 minutes late to our Monday morning staff meeting. After a few weeks, our leader began to lock the door to the conference room so he couldn't get in if late. He would knock, etc., but wasn't allowed in. It wasn't long before he moved on to another job. It was a great way to send him a message and it worked. You are correct - it is hard to reform bad attitudes.
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Thanks, Dick. You remind me of an incident from my own misspent youth.
Our company had an operations meeting in the executive dining room every Monday morning at 10 AM. That's when the President locked the door and began the meeting.
Since I was in charge of logistics for North America, part of my job was to attend the meeting. On my third one, I got there late. I thought I was on time, but the door was locked and my watch didn't count.
I knew I was in trouble. As I walked back to my office, I realized that everyone who saw me knew something had happened because I wasn’t in the meeting.
When I got to my office, my secretary jumped up and asked me what was wrong. I told her. She had been with the company a long time. "Oh, dear," she said.
About an hour later, my secretary stuck her head into my office and said, "I'm going to go get the memo." I wasn't sure what that meant, but I knew that she knew. I waited.
She returned with an envelope that I had to sign for. Inside was a memo from the President. It consisted of a single line.
"People who expect to remain employed here come to meetings on time.'
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Behavior and performance are really an outgrowth of attitude. So what needs to be determined is WHY the employee has a bad attitude?
Perhaps the employee has a personality disorder? Or maybe they have problems in their personal life? Or maybe they were not given honest and accurate information about the job/company when they signed on to the company?
Personally, I've worked for too many companies that painted a very rosy picture of how great the company and/or did not accurately answer questions about the work/company at the interviews. Which can lead to a bad attitude.
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Thanks for adding the comment, Joseph. You're right about all those possible causes of a bad attitude. I'm not suggesting that a supervisor determine the cause of a bad attitude. I'll leave that to the psychologists. I suggest that if you're a boss and you're thinking, "That person has a bad attitude," you'll be more effective asking yourself what the person does that cause you to think they have a bad attitude. Then concentrate your attention on the behavior or performance that should be your concern.
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Yes, but my point was that if you don't figure out the WHY, then you are not going to be able to permanently improve behavior or performance.
If you are not capable or interested in the WHY, then you should just let the person go and make life easier for both of you.
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I disagree, Joseph. My experience is that you can't get at the "why" directly as you suggest. All you can deal with effectively is what is observable, behavior and performance. I'm not aware of tools or techniques that render an average boss capable of "figuring out" the why.
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You ask questions, you probe. You draw the person out.
That doesn't mean that you can solve the problem though, even if you do discover it.
For instance, if you lied through your teeth about how wonderful the company was to work for but the reality is that everyone goes around stabbing each other in the back, personnel goes through a revolving door, there actually isn't any training and management doesn't care one way or the other, then while the person may have valid reasons for a bad attitude, there isn't anything that is going to be able to change that.
All you could say would be "too bad, you got snookered. Accept it or suffer the consequences. This is the way we roll".
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What I have found with many executives is that when they focus on the behaviors of individuals and get clear on what they want from employees then hiring becomes more effective and performance evaluations result in fewer surprises.
The smaller and younger companies tend to encounter these problems because they haven't defined company values. When you are clear on your values, then you can hire employees who share your values which often lead to the behaviors you are desiring.
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Thanks, Beth. Clear expectations enable a lot of things and you've noted several of them.
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Congrats on having this post selected as one of the top twenty for 2010.
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Thanks, Mark. I have to tell you it was great fun to write, too.
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