Conversations and Success
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Clark Quinn reminds us that "Conversations are the engine of business." Let's cut that even finer. Conversations are the engine of bossly success. Here's why.
If you have good, human relationships with your people, you will have to work hard to screw up as a boss. The easiest and most common way to help relationships grow and thrive is through conversations.
Some ground rules first. We're talking about human relationships between adults. And we're discussing conversations, not simply talking.
If you have frequent conversations with your people, there's almost no way to avoid having a relationship with them. On the other hand if you simply treat people as receiving devices for your instructions, you will create the same kind of relationship that you have with your car.
Real conversations are the way you get to know the other person and that person gets to know you. Understanding goes up, misimpressions go down.
So what's a conversation? In a conversation, each person gets to speak while the other listens. Listening does not mean nodding while you think of what key wisdom to impart next. A conversation is not simply you telling someone what to do and asking if they understand. In a conversation what everyone says matters.
Don't worry about what you should talk about. You almost surely have something in common with everyone on your team. Start by talking about that.
Boss's Bottom Line
Here's the sequence. Show up a lot. Have conversations. Relationships will develop and the odds for success will improve.
Wally's Working Supervisor's Support Kit is a collection of information and tools to help working supervisors do a better job. It's based on what Wally's learned in over twenty years of supervisory skills training. Click here to check it out.
Categories: Great Working Environment, MBWA, Communication
Tags: Communication Great Working Environment MBWA
Wally,
I completely agree with you on this point. It's rare that a socially inept individual gains sufficient support to become a manager. Although, sadly, many who are very well versed in communicating with others are promoted to management positions while their actual work ethic and capabilities don't match that type of position.
Discussion and communication opens the door to a long relationship with someone. It essentially is the same as the adage of getting your foot in the door!
Thanks for this post!
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Thanks for your comments, Christian. I think that, too often, "communication" means the ability to speak glibly to people and not the ability to converse.
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Wally,
To be a successful manager, I agree that you have to build relationships and be able to communicate with your employees. I unfortunately have had the experience of the opposite as well and it never makes anyone feel good to be run over while conversing with someone, and quite frankly I find it very rude. You feel that what you're saying is not important because you're not being heard. The better the relationship, the more respect you will gain from people in the workplace.
Often times people think that having a conversation is easy, but it is definitely something that needs to be worked at. I completely agree that listening is a large part of that and sadly, a lot of people don't know how to listen. After taking an Interpersonal Communications course, I realized that I have to consciously think about listening at times while also being mindful of my body language, as that plays a huge role as well.
Thanks for the great topic of conversation!
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Good points, Wendy, thanks. Just talking isn't conversation, there has to be listening. And it's particularly important for the boss to listen, to model good behavior and to encourage conversation. There are definitely skills involved and, as you point out, they can be learned.
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