You don't "build" people, dammit!
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Lately, it seems, the fashion is to talk about "building" people or leaders or cultures. I go all crazy when I read that. Hear this:
"People are not an engineering project."
People are living things and living things grow and develop. They are not designed and built.
We don't "grow" people, either. What really happens is that we allow them to grow. The best we can do is offer suggestions, resources, and opportunities. The rest is up to the person.
I once had a friend in the speaking business who had a coffee cup emblazoned with the words "I am a motivational speaker. I change lives." BS. If there's any life-changing being done, it's the person who's doing it. No program, incentive, or leader can do any more than influence what happens.
Boss's Bottom Line
One of the keys to being a great boss is treating your team members and
everyone else like people. Treat them with respect. Offer them suggestions,
resources, and opportunities. Help them make wise choices.
Wally's Working Supervisor's Support Kit is a collection of information and tools to help working supervisors do a better job. It's based on what Wally's learned in over twenty years of supervisory skills training. Click here to check it out.
Categories: Development, leadership development, Personal Development, Training
Tags: Leadership Development Personal Development
Love it! And yet I'm certain I've made the same kind of casual statements. I hereby apologize to anyone who ever worked for me, if they ever felt that I was treating them like bricks when I should've been treating them like people.
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Good point, Gray. I'm sure I have made them as well, what triggered the post was several news stories and blog posts that used the term. Seems like it's becoming a pattern or a fad. I don't think occasional mentions will matter much, but if it becomes common practice, it's one more stick on the pile of the "people as parts" school of leadership. Thanks for adding to the conversation.
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This is interesting because in my MBA class we have been discussing cases on companies trying to turn things around by part, figuring out how to train the managers to be good leaders. I was having trouble figuring out how much you can really train (or build) someone. I think to be a exceptional leader, one has to have the right 'core' already- the right mindset and will to learn, take risks, make mistakes, and humbly learn from them. I completely agree that people are not grown but given the opportunity to do so. If they take that opportunity and how far they go with it is up to them.
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Thanks for your observations, Sera. I think there are some things you need to show up with if you're going to be a good boss. You must be willing to make decisions and willing to confront people. You need enough physical stamina and intellectual horsepower for the job. Most important, in my view, is you will do best if you have those things AND you enjoy helping others succeed.
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Hi Wally - couldn't agree more. That's why I hate with a passion the term - human capital!
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Nice connection, Dorothy. I've always thought the term "people" was pretty good.
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Wally, thanks for speaking out. I appreciate your commitment to the idea that leadership development is self-development. Give 'em hell!
Mike...
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True enough, Mike. Thanks for adding that to the conversation.
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The point I get from this Wally is that as humans, we are responsible for building, designing, or growing our own life. (Of course, even farmers don’t “grow” plants; they create the best conditions they can for growth; the has to do all the heavy lifting.) At the same time, unlike buildings or plants, we also can choose from among various “growers” and “builders” from whom we take the lessons and examples to create our life. No one makes you do anything—we make the choice.
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Excellent points, Michael. Unlike plants we get to choose our gardeners to some extent. Hadn't thought of it quite that way, thanks.
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This is so true. I am a firm believe that people are the way they want to be and the only thing others can do to change it is give them resources to make the choice to change. Great leaders know this
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Nicely put, Amanda, thanks.
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Wally - you make an excellent point and I so agree! We all choose to grow/develop/improve ourselves, or not. Some of us are lucky to have leaders in our lives who, like gardeners, nurture our growth process.
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Yes, isn't it grand, Jane! And as Michael McKinney pointed out earlier we have some say in picking out gardener. Thanks for joining the conversation.
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Well said Wally. This is very similar to the idea that leaders can't directly motivate their people -- they can only create an environment where internal motivations can come to the fore. It's all about creating the right setting and trusting your people to take it from there!
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You're right Andy. Try as we might we can't get inside someone else's head or heart and "make" them do anything. Thanks for commenting.
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I think a change in though, makes a change in behavior, which results in a different person. It's true that what you try to influence is the basic layer "way of thinking". It requires a certain power from the top down, to influence thoughts. Also the person under influence needs to have a certain level of acceptance in order to get impressed enough to change his mind. Some people have the power and/or acceptance, some people don't or at least they have it at a different rate.
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Thanks for commenting, Kia
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You said it Wally!
I'm always smiling inside when people are talking big about motivating others and changing lives. We can serve as a resource for others but the motivation must come within, we simply cannot motivate anyone if the self-desire to change doesn't exist.
Jaana Eubanks
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Absolutely, Jaana. If you're the boss, you can do a lot for the people on your team. You can offer them opportunities and counsel, set up developmental assignments for them, and give them freedom to try things. What you can't do is "build" them or "motivate" them. Thanks for adding to the conversation.
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Great point Wally! Offer your employee tools and let them work the problem at hand and you've just enabled your working force to grow and develop essential skills that can lead to you and your companies success!
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Well said, Brett. Thanks..
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Wally,
I totally agree with you. The majority of managers focus on how producing more and more in our “crappy system." This merely triggers in a mechanical work. With this, the organizations may grow but not develop. In this sense, there is a huge difference between both terms: growth and development. The latter incorporates a holistic vision focused on human resources for attaining the desired goals. Of course, this will be possible through an authentic leadership wherein managers should use a variety of mechanisms for such.
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Excellent point, Julio. Growth and development are not the same thing. You can have one without the other and people and organizations benefit from both. Thanks for adding that perspective.
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Amen, Wally! They are not merely resources, either! Really important for a boss to understand. When the shift is made to inspiring rather than motivating, the people of influence turn their attention inward. What can I do that might be inspiring? It's a different viewpoint than striving to motivate the unmotivated.
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Thanks for the helpful comment, Monica. I would only add that another question might be: "What can I do that will help?"
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Hi Wally,
I believe that it is both arrogant and egotistical to talk about "building" or "growing" other people. Has anyone reached that level of perfection where we can begin to re-create others? Those who are eager to "build" others should first take responsibility for dealing with their own learning and growth.
As leaders we are all (hopefully) still learning and improving our own abilities and skills. The best we can do is to share our learning experiences with others.
The only person I know who has managed to build someone was Dr. Frankenstein - and we all know how that turned out.
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Now that made me smile, Laura. Thanks!
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Totally agree Wally, in fact research indicates that if you treat people like people their performance goes up. See this post on "Gossip, Collaboration, and Performance in Distributed Teams."
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Thanks for stopping by Larry and for the pointer to that helpful post.
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Don't they say the Navy makes men? Seriously, any parent knows people come as they are. You can influence them but change can only come from within.
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True enough, Laura, but many of those parents seem to forget that point when they go to work.
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Excellent post. It’s a fact of life that people will never care about you until they know you care about them. And when you go through life with your attention on yourself, you send a powerful message to the people that you manage that you don’t care about them. It’s one of life’s ironies that as long as you’re in life for what’s in it for you, there’s nothing in it for you. It’s only when you are in life for what you can do for others that all of life’s riches come your way.
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I couldn't say that any better, Scott. Thanks for adding to the conversation.
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