You can be tough without being a jerk
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I will agree that there is way too much "shiny happy people holding hands" management advice out there. If you're the boss, you're responsible for your team's performance, so you need to be tough. What I don't agree with is the "jerk-like" behavior that some writers seem to think means that you're tough.
Over at Forbes, for example, there's a post titled "Peacetime CEO/Wartime CEO" by Ben Horowitz. It's the kind of post people who haven't been to war write to establish the fact that they're tough, too. Here's some of the Horowitz' advice.
"Peacetime CEO strives not to use profanity. Wartime CEO sometimes uses profanity exclusively." And
"Peacetime CEO does not raise her voice. Wartime CEO rarely speaks in a normal tone."
Meanwhile, at HR Morning, there's a review of a book with the pugnacious title Bare Knuckle People Management. I haven't read the book, only the review which is titled "Finally! Some real-world management advice." This one includes advice like "Team-wide rules s*ck" and "Own your own sh*t." Spare me!
You have to be tough, but not anything like that. You can safely forego the cursing and shouting. You don't have to stomp around the office either. Being a tough boss means taking away people's excuses for substandard behavior and performance.
Make your expectations clear and check to see that they're understood. Make them reasonable for your team member's capabilities. Make them possible by assuring that the resources are available to get the job done.
Then hold your people accountable for their performance and their behavior. Deliver consequences that match up to what they've done.
Boss's Bottom Line
Being a tough boss means being clear about what you expect, taking away all excuses for sub-standard performance, and holding team members accountable for results.
Wally's Working Supervisor's Support Kit is a collection of information and tools to help working supervisors do a better job. It's based on what Wally's learned in over twenty years of supervisory skills training. Click here to check it out.
I'm on your side Wally. The office is no place for bully tactics like those pushed as "wartime." Professionalism and accountability; if you're a leader and you're team is under-performing look to yourself and why you as the leader is under-performing, then correct it.
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Thanks, Peter. I think it was Texas football coach Mack Brown who noted that when one or two players were underperforming, you could blame the players, but if the whole team was underperforming, you need to evaluate the coaching.
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People dont respond to yelling & screaming. It may be a cliche' but I try to treat people like I want to be treated with fairness and dignity. Recently my manager thought an employee should be "written up" for a performance issue. I said I wanted to just "talk to him". My manager was skeptical as this was a 2nd similar issue. But really by me showing the employee the respect of giving him a 2nd chance- he gave me the respect back and has turned both his attitude and performance around. If you have good people just give them a break once and while-most often it will go along way!
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Thanks, Lynne. My experience is that, with most people, most of the time, if you confront them with a behavior or performance issue and describe the consequences of continued issues, they will change without the need for documentation. There's more detail in my post on "Working in the cracks in the system."
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Hi Wally, Great post. Leadership requires kindness (without the wimpy part) AND toughness (without the jerk part). It's not an either/or proposition - its a both/and with a lot of respect thrown in.
Thanks for the thought provoker.
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Well, said, Mary Jo. Thanks for adding to the conversation.
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Thanks for the great post Wally. I find that some managers are on a power trip and don't realize that they could get much farther if they took a different approach, although the latter can't be too soft either. There is a happy medium, but I often wonder how to get managers to find it ... especially when they are YOUR manager?
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Alas, Wendy, I don't have any advice that will help. Telling your boss an unpleasant truth is always a risk, even at the best of times. Thanks for sharing that thought.
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Wally, there is a clear difference between tough and mean; they are not joined at the hip. Establishing clear boundaries requires "toughness" to maintain and can be implemented with diplomacy.
Word selection is heavily scrutinized these days; perhaps “conviction” would be better accepted. Regardless of adjective choice, rules were not meant to be broken.
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Good points, Gary. I'm in favor of boss's having a minimum number of important rules that they enforce religiously. I covered that in more detail in my "Elevator Speech for Bosses" post. Thanks for adding to the conversation.
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Hi Wally:
I take issue with your post. I wish you had read Bare Knuckle People Management instead of just the review in HR Morning. My book isn't for everyone, but it doesn't condone what you suggest it does.
Please see my blog post regarding this - http://www.bareknucklepeoplemanagement.com/management-2/judging-books-by-covers).
Would be more than happy to discuss with you, and would love to get you a copy!
Warm regards,
Sean O'Neil (co-author of Bare Knuckle People Management)
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Thanks for coming by and sharing your perception of my post, Sean. After I read and approved it, I went back and reviewed the post. You're right that the post implied that I was reviewing the book and not reacting to the review. I apologize. I've changed the text of the post so that's clear.
I also jumped over to read your post that responded to mine. After reading that, here's where I come out. I stand by my evaluation of the contents of the review. I disagree with both the tone and the advice as it is represented there. You are welcome to add comments here and readers certainly can read the HR Morning post and your post to make up their own minds.
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I appreciate your openness and comfort with debate and disagreement on your blog, Wally. I wish you the best!
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Thanks, Sean. That would be a good statement of my sentiments as well. I appreciate your comments here and hope you'll be back to debate in the future.
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It's true, you don't have to run around screaming and yelling like a madman to be an effective boss. My boss is usually very calm, and you know when he's really mad because he'll start raising his voice, but VERY rarely. Another good example is sports coaches like Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith, who are very soft spoken and rarely, if ever, raise their voice and they don't cuss and carry on to their players and the press. Great post. Thanks!
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Thanks for the kind words and your comment, Erin. I'm glad that we're starting to see more publicized examples of leaders who do their job quietly.
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Great post Wally - I included your post in my Rainmaker 'Fab Five' blog picks of the week to share your message with my readers.
Be well!
Chris
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Thanks, Chris. I know how carefully you choose, so I'm truly honored.
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